I WAS ONLY KIDDING

Thanks to our Pastor, we have been regularly learning about the impact of a spoken word. Today I want to share something along the same lines. A very commonly used phrase which sounds deceptively innocent, but which has far reaching consequences- The phrase is “I was only joking, or I was only kidding”. This phrase is so   frequently used that it almost sounds clichéd. It is used as a disclaimer when we want to enjoy a joke at someone’s expense or mock or fool others or just pull someone down.

E.g Wow! The house looks clean, today. “Was the internet down? followed by Never mind. I didn’t mean anything. Just kidding ok?”.

From social media to workplaces and homes, sarcasm has completely permeated our culture. 

Oscar Wilde said, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” The dictionary defines sarcasm as sneering, taunting or cutting remarks.” The origin of sarcasm is from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” 

I never imagined that there would be a scripture relevant to this. But surprisingly there is, proving that if we look hard enough there is a scripture for every situation, every problem and every need that we have. So, this is Proverbs 26:18-19.

NIV says

¹⁸ Like a maniac shooting
    flaming arrows of death
¹⁹ is one who deceives their neighbour
    and says, “I was only joking!”

And the King James version says-

¹⁸ As a mad man who casts firebrands, arrows, and death,

¹⁹ So is the man that deceives his neighbour, and says, Am I not in sport?

Sarcasm is only one aspect of the word “deceive” mentioned in the verse. The word “deceive” in Hebrew “ramah" means to deal craftily, to delude, to fool or betray. This could include lying about someone or talking in a manipulative or deceptive manner to someone. 
According to the scriptures, the effect of such words is as devastating as the effect of the actions of a mad man who flings lethal instruments indiscriminately, in all directions. The outcome in both cases can only be destruction.

Although, we may try to justify our words, by declaring that it was just for fun or we didn’t mean anything by it - Scripture tells us that ‘Out of the abundance of our hearts our mouth speaks. The fruits of our lips (i.e. the words that we speak) comes from a tree that is already rooted in our hearts. And just like a cherry tree can give only cherries or an apple tree only apples, what is rooted in our hearts gives rise to the fruit of our lips.   Hence taking jabs at people and claiming that it was just a joke and that we didn’t mean anything by it, makes as much sense as a cherry tree saying -The fruits on this tree are not cherries, they are just jokes, I don’t mean anything by them. If we have said it, it’s there buried deep somewhere in our hearts, we may or may not be  aware of its existence. Nevertheless, it is there for sure.

Matthew 12:36 Amplified Bible (AMP), says

³⁶ But I tell you, on the day of judgment people will have to give an accounting for every careless or useless word they speak. Note it says: every careless or useless word, it does not say except jokes or words which were not spoken seriously etc. It says every careless or useless word.

So, it’s very important to recognize the root that produced the fruit. Was it an underlying sense of hurt, offense, bitterness or rejection? You see, hurt people tend to hurt other people, offended people tend to offend other people and so on. Whatever it is, once we recognize the root, we need to repent, seek forgiveness and ask God to help us deal with it.

I would like to close with a few lines from an article written by Dr. Hyder Zahed-Huffington Post Blog

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.

Perfecting the speech is one of the keystones of mature people. Be kind to all and speak words that are beacons of inspiration, enthusiasm and encouragement to all. There are certain rules that should guide all our communications with others. Always speak the truth, avoid exaggerations, don’t use your words to manipulate others, and most importantly do not use words to insult or belittle anyone.