Offense is defined as: resentment brought about by a
perceived insult.
Nowadays, tolerance levels have dipped dangerously, People take offense
for the slightest of reasons. Your Instagram post could upset someone, your
tweet could create controversies. Overtaking
someone on the road, liking or not liking someone’s social media posts,
forgetting birthdays, anniversaries, etc can snowball into major issues. Your speech
may offend someone; your silence may offend someone. The list goes on.
The word ‘offence’ is derived from the Greek word ‘skandalon’, which refers
to the trigger/bait of a trap. Once baited, the victim would totally be under
the control of the trapper.
Offence is a bait that Satan uses to entrap believers. Once trapped, he can easily manipulate us into emotions like anger, bitterness or hurt. Satan’s aim is division and his strategy is offense.
Offence is a bait that Satan uses to entrap believers. Once trapped, he can easily manipulate us into emotions like anger, bitterness or hurt. Satan’s aim is division and his strategy is offense.
Jesus said, “It is impossible but that
offences will come:” (Luke 17:1). So, the question is not whether we have opportunities to be offended,
but how we respond to them.
Offenses
can be likened to needles which prick us. Needle pricks are not pleasant; they hurt.
And its worse, if you allow the needle
to remain inside of you. But there are people who allow needles to enter and stay
inside of them and remain offended for ages. That’s not a happy state to
be in.
We all have
different degrees of resistance to offenses and based on this we can categorize
people (this is just for illustrative purposes)
1. Balloons- One prick with a needle
and pop it goes. This typifies people who
always get offended, no matter what
you say or do. You could say that they are searching for reasons to get
offended.
2. A cotton ball- It is easy to stick a
needle into a ball of cotton. It may not go pop like a balloon, it’s somewhat
better than a balloon. This represents people who get offended, frequently.
People falling into these two categories
generally have poor self- esteem, they are not comfortable with who they are,
which causes them to take offense at the slightest provocation.
3. Soft rubber ball- a needle can go
through with a little bit of effort, not too easily though. These are people who
get offended, sometimes.
4. Hard rubber ball- Sticking a needle into
a hard rubber ball is not easy. It may
or may not go through depending on the force you apply. These people are rarely offended.
5. The season ball- It is impossible
for a needle to ever go through a season ball. This typifies a person who never get offended, regardless of the
level of provocation.
People falling into categories 4 and 5 are
generally well adjusted, content with who they are, so what others speak or
think about them doesn’t affect them.
Regardless of the category we fall into
now, our aim should be to move to Category 5. How can we do that? 3 points ….
1. Remember
the Cross: We serve a God who did not get offended though He had every
right to get offended. He was stripped, whipped, flogged and nailed to the
cross on our behalf. The Creator Himself was crucified by His Creation but He
chose to forgive his torturers. There is absolutely nothing that we have to
face today, which is greater than what Jesus faced. Let us be encouraged by his
example of dealing with offenses and no matter what the provocation, make a
conscious decision to not get offended.
2. Know
your worth- Too often, we allow the words or actions of others to define
who we are. The reason why so many of us battle poor self-esteem is that we
become too dependent on opinions of others. Offenses will always come, because
people have this enormous propensity to be careless with their words. But
we need to realize that our worth is not determined by what others say or think
about us. Rather it is determined by the price that was paid for
purchasing us. For e.g. I have a bottle of Chanel. I know its value because it
burned a hole in my pocket. So, even if someone says that it is worthless, I
would just think - Not true. Similarly, Jesus paid a very high price to
purchase us, and our value is determined by that. If someone says something to the contrary, we
should think – Not true and let the comment pass.
3. Lower
your expectations- In relationships there are expectations and this is
especially true in marriages. Expectations from spouses, children, parents,
bosses may not always realistic and so may remain unfulfilled. And when people
don’t live up to our expectations, there’s a chance that we will get offended. The
difference between what we expect and what we get determines how offended we
become. Greater the difference, greater the offense. Simply put- 0 expectation=
0 chance of getting offended. Therefore, let our expectation be only from God, not
from people.
I would like to close with a quote “To be offended is a
choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone
or something”.