ANGER

Anger has become a global phenomenon. Just like global warming, we may soon have Global angering. People are getting angrier. Why, even cartoon characters, toys and games are getting angrier.  First we had only Donald Duck. Now we have   Squidward and  Buttercup and  Angry birds. 

Today, I want to very briefly share 4 points on anger and forgiveness.

1.    Pause: Anger is a strong feeling of hostility in response to pain or injustice, which incidentally all of us experience. It is a natural human emotion.  The Bible never refers to experiencing anger as sin. Ephesians 4: 26, says - When angry, do not sin; which implies that it is one’s reaction when angry that has the potential to be sinful, not the anger itself. Therefore, pause for a moment before reacting. And choose to do what the Scriptures tell us, and not what we feel or don’t feel like doing. for e.g: choosing to remain silent when we feel like retaliating; choosing to speak kindly to  someone, at whom we feel like snapping, choosing to honour our parents, when we don’t feel like honouring them etc.

2.    Forget:  The Bible specifies a time duration for which we can remain angry. It says’ Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. So, it is ok to go to bed hungry, thirsty, sad, or confused but it is not ok to go to bed angry. Reminds me of a story of a little boy who had a fight with his brother and became very angry with him.  When his brother tried to make up, he refused. Bedtime came, and their mother asked, “Shouldn’t you  forgive your brother before the sun goes down?  Looking perplexed, he blurted out, “But how can I keep the sun from going down?” Sometimes we are like that little boy. We hold onto grudges for a very long time, quite forgetting the fact that anger within us destroys us more than the person at whom it is directed. Animals too react in anger in fight or flight situations, but that lasts only for moments, maybe for the 5 mins or 10 mins when  they face the situation. After that they forget all about it. Humans are the only ones who  have this remarkable  capacity to keep  anger within themselves  for prolonged periods of time. However, research proves that our bodies are just not equipped to sustain such emotions for long, and this  ultimately leads  to  harmful physiological  effects .

 No, we can’t keep the sun from going down. But we can keep it from setting-on our anger. And that means we must forgive.

3.    Forgive: The root of “forgive” is the Latin word “perdonare,” meaning “to give completely, without reservation, or unconditionally.” When we give a gift to someone, our motivation is not to get something in return but to make the recipient happy. Similarly, our motive in forgiving people is not to make us feel good, although that is  definitely a desired  byproduct, but our motive in forgiving people should be  to  free  them  from feelings of guilt or shame that they may be experiencing.  That’s tough, but then we need to remember that our role model, Jesus experienced   a horrible death on the cross, for sinners like us, not because the experience on the cross made him feel good, but so that He could free us from our guilt and shame.  

4.    Pray: In Mathew 5: 44-we are told to pray for those who persecute us. That’s not a suggestion or a request, but a command from God. To be very honest, praying for people who had offended me was never on my priority list. Strange, that Jesus specifically asks us to pray for our enemies but never specifically asks us to pray for our loved ones. Why would Jesus want us to have this discipline in our life? 2 points

• ·         While superficial hurts are easy to deal with, deep wounds don’t heal; they create  bitterness in our heart , even when we verbally forgive the person responsible.  Praying every day for people who hurt us, allows God to deal with the root of bitterness in our hearts and heal it.
• ·         Love, is the impetus for true forgiveness and this can only come from God. As we pray, God fills our hearts with love, thereby enabling us to love and forgive our enemies.

Before I close, I would like to leave you with a thought – True forgiveness is unconditional, and it is ushered in by Love. We need to have  both these qualities with us, as we live in an increasingly hostile and unforgiving culture.  

Dealing with offenses

Offense is defined as: resentment brought about by a perceived insult.

Nowadays, tolerance levels have dipped dangerously, People take offense for the slightest of reasons.  Your Instagram post could upset someone, your tweet could create controversies.  Overtaking someone on the road, liking or not liking someone’s social media posts, forgetting birthdays, anniversaries, etc can snowball into major issues. Your speech may offend someone; your silence may offend someone. The list goes on.  

The word ‘offence’ is derived from the Greek word ‘skandalon’, which refers to the trigger/bait of a trap. Once baited, the victim would totally be under the control of the trapper.
Offence is a bait that Satan uses to entrap believers. Once trapped, he can easily manipulate us into emotions like anger, bitterness or hurt. Satan’s aim is division and his strategy is offense.

Jesus said, “It is impossible but that offences will come:” (Luke 17:1). So, the question is not   whether we have opportunities to be offended, but how we respond to them. 

Offenses can be likened to needles which prick us. Needle pricks are not pleasant; they hurt.  And its worse, if you allow the needle to remain inside of you. But there are people who allow needles to enter and stay inside of them and remain offended for ages.  That’s not a happy state to be in.

We all have different degrees of resistance to offenses and based on this we can categorize people (this is just for illustrative purposes) 

1.     Balloons- One prick with a needle and pop it goes.  This typifies people who always get offended, no matter what you say or do. You could say that they are searching for reasons to get offended.

2.     A cotton ball- It is easy to stick a needle into a ball of cotton. It may not go pop like a balloon, it’s somewhat better than a balloon. This represents people who get offended, frequently.

People falling into these two categories generally have poor self- esteem, they are not comfortable with who they are, which causes them to take offense at the slightest provocation.

3.     Soft rubber ball- a needle can go through with a little bit of effort, not too easily though. These are people who get offended, sometimes.

4.     Hard rubber ball- Sticking a needle into a hard rubber ball is not easy.  It may or may not go through depending on the force you apply. These people are rarely offended.

5.     The season ball- It is impossible for a needle to ever go through a season ball. This typifies a person who never get offended, regardless of the level of provocation.

People falling into categories 4 and 5 are generally well adjusted, content with who they are, so what others speak or think about them doesn’t affect them.

Regardless of the category we fall into now, our aim should be to move to Category 5. How can we do that? 3 points ….

1.     Remember the Cross: We serve a God who did not get offended though He had every right to get offended. He was stripped, whipped, flogged and nailed to the cross on our behalf. The Creator Himself was crucified by His Creation but He chose to forgive his torturers. There is absolutely nothing that we have to face today, which is greater than what Jesus faced. Let us be encouraged by his example of dealing with offenses and no matter what the provocation, make a conscious decision to not get offended.

2.     Know your worth- Too often, we allow the words or actions of others to define who we are. The reason why so many of us battle poor self-esteem is that we become too dependent on opinions of others. Offenses will always come, because people have this enormous propensity to be careless with their words.  But we need to realize that our worth is not determined by what others say or think about us. Rather it is determined by the price that was paid  for purchasing us. For e.g. I have a bottle of Chanel. I know its value because it burned a hole in my pocket. So, even if someone says that it is worthless, I would just think - Not true. Similarly, Jesus paid a very high price to purchase us, and our value is determined by that.  If someone says something to the contrary, we should think – Not true and let the comment pass.

3.     Lower your expectations- In relationships there are expectations and this is especially true in marriages. Expectations from spouses, children, parents, bosses may not always realistic and so may remain unfulfilled. And when people don’t live up to our expectations, there’s a chance that we will get offended. The difference between what we expect and what we get determines how offended we become. Greater the difference, greater the offense. Simply put- 0 expectation= 0 chance of getting offended. Therefore, let our expectation be only from God, not from people.

I would like to close with a quote “To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something”.

                                                                  

Lessons from the life of Jacob, Leah and Rachel

Today I want to share a little bit from the life of Jacob, Leah and Rachel.

So, first Jacob’s life…. Jacob, fleeing from the wrath of his brother, Esau, lands up with his Uncle Laban. Laban had 2 daughters Leah and Rachel. The Bible tells us that,  Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful but Leah had weak eyes. (Genesis 29:17), whatever that means, but   it obviously wasn’t anything complimentary. In fact, it subtly conveyed the fact that Leah was not as attractive as her sister.   Jacob predictably falls  in love with Rachel and offered to work for seven years for her hand in marriage. But after the ceremony, he found himself married to the wrong person, Leah, instead of Rachel. Jacob, who had deceived his poor blind father, pretending to be Esau, was now deceived by Laban.  We keep sowing all kinds of  stuff during our lifetime, could be  bad or good, kind or unkind, truth or deceit. We may remember it or  forget all about it. But the principle still holds. What we sow, we will always reap. It may or may not be immediate. 

MISTAKEN IDENTITY….7 years earlier, Isaac thought that it was Esau he was blessing. 7 years later Jacob thought that it was Rachel he was marrying.

Coming to Leah. Categorized as tender eyed, eclipsed by her sister, yoked to a husband who obviously loved her sister more than her; Leah must have felt lonely and rejected. In a world, which attaches a lot of importance to outward appearances, the not so attractive, not so smart, not so talented people may often find themselves sidelined. Many of us can identify with Leah, many of us who have faced rejection at some time or the other, from people around us. Who may cry their hearts out bitterly into the pillow at night, but put on a brave face by day. But the  Bible say’s Gen 29 v³¹ When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive. Isn’t it encouraging to know that God notices the unloved ones; He chooses the one’s whom the world rejects and blesses them?  We can see that from verse 32 onwards, how Leah was blessed.

³² Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben,^[b] for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

³³ She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.^[c]

³⁴ Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.^[d]

God had blessed Leah with 3 sons, but that wasn’t enough for her; she still craved for her husband’s love and approval, which obviously wasn’t forthcoming. So, she remained in her misery. That’s what happens when we are too focused on getting approval from the people around us and not focused on God. Unless we learn to find adequacy in Him who is El Shaddai, the All Sufficient One, a God who is more than enough for us, nothing ever will be enough for us.  

Let us look at Rachel’s life. Rachel apparently had everything going for her- beauty, husband’s love. But she could not have children Gen 30 v 1 says "Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister. Just think about the irony of the situation. Both sisters were miserable and envious of each other…

Although everything looked great from  the outside, Rachel was empty on the  inside. Her sister was fruitful, but she was barren.

You see many times we look at outward appearances of people around us and think that they lead wonderful lives. Great pics on FB, Instagram… awesome vacations, beautiful clothes, houses  etc.  In effect, they project a grand lifestyle, when they may actually be empty from within. We compare their projected images with our real images and wrongly conclude that everything is perfect in their lives. When we look at the lives of people around us- projected or real, we need to be careful not to give place   to envy in our minds. Envy is no solution to our problems. It only makes us blind to what we have and focused on what we lack.

Lessons from the life of Jonah

Today, I want to share a few lessons from the life of Jonah (Chapter 1). First, the story very briefly and then the lessons I learnt from it.

Jonah was a prophet of Israel during the reign of King Jeroboam II. His  commission, was to convey a message from God to the people of Nineveh.

The Assyrians who were barbarians noted for their brutality,had by then destroyed the entire northern kingdom of Israel. The book of Jonah begins with a command from God, to Jonah, to go to Nineveh and prophesy to its wicked inhabitants. But Jonah was not overly enthusiastic about this assignment; in fact he was  reluctant to go, not only because he knew that they would laugh at him, but he also greatly feared that they would kill him if he went and preached to them. It is easy to understand his reluctance, if we visualize ourselves in an identical situation.  Imagine, if God were to tell us today, 'I'm going to bring terrible judgment on Pakistan. I want you to go to there and tell the terrorists to repent.' Just think about it… They would chop off our head in 2 minutes. Our first response then, would be to flee as far away as possible.

Jonah also had another selfish motive in running away from his assignment. He wanted God’s judgement to fall on the Assyrians in Nineveh and see them destroyed even as they had destroyed his beloved Israel.

So, Jonah, headed in the opposite direction to a place called Tarshish. Nineveh was about 500 miles to the east of Israel and Tarshish was about 2500 miles to the west, on the coast of what is currently Spain.  Jonah  was wasting his time and money to do something he was not supposed to be doing, rather than investing these resources to do the thing that God was calling him to do.

Isn’t it strange that a prophet like Jonah imagined that he could escape God and his assignment by running away to Tarshish?

To continue with the story, Jonah was now on the ship, sleeping blissfully.

All the while the ship sailed smoothly over the sea, Jonah forgot all about God and his assignment. But then God sent a fierce storm and the ship was on the verge of being broken to pieces. While Jonah was surprisingly still asleep below the deck of the ship, the sailors tried to do everything within their power to save the ship. They threw out the excess baggage and even cried   out to their gods for help. Then the sailors cast lots to determine who was the cause of their misfortune, and not surprisingly, Jonah’s name came up. Knowing full well that he was the root cause of all the trouble, Jonah offers to be chucked overboard.  And so, the sailors reluctantly threw him  overboard. 

Now Jonah’s very life was in danger. Did Jonah deserve to escape from the situation? No: But the Lord "provided a large fish to swallow up Jonah and bring him safely ashore.

So what are the  lessons that we can take from this story?

1.     We serve a God of second chances. In this book we see God who is revealed not so much as  powerful and  mighty, but as a loving and caring God who wants to extend his grace towards everyone. Jonah did not want the Ninevites to escape the wrath of God. Jonah’s hatred for Nineveh was probably greater than his love for God and that is what ultimately caused him to disobey God. But God loved these Ninevites, even though Jonah hated them. And I sometimes think that there is an awful lot of Jonah in us. It is funny how sometimes we want God’s grace for ourselves when we sin and fall short but we do not want God to extend the same grace to others when they fall short. We forget the fact that we serve a God who loves each of us equally and unconditionally: He cannot love me more if I do something good or less if I sin and fall short.

2.     Are we  on the right boat. Like Jonah, there are times when we go to great lengths to do the things that we are not supposed to do rather than the things that God is calling us to do. Jonah  was in the wrong place with the wrong set of people. For, though the sailors needed to be on the ship on account of their work, Jonah had no business being on board with them. He was supposed to be in Nineveh doing the work that God had assigned to him. So he found himself in the middle of a storm caused by his own rebellion, which affected not only him but also the sailors on the ship.

 When we are in a place other than where God intends for us to be, he can cause a storm to shake up our life and bring us back on track. Though the storm may have been intended for us, our friends, family or acquaintances could also be affected. Then they would be left with no other option but to throw us out of their life.

3.     Be careful about who is travelling with you in your boat. The reverse of the above statement  also holds true.  We can be a Jonah or we can have a Jonah with us. The sailors were affected by the storm meant for Jonah and as soon as they threw him out, the storm was stilled. Note, they were reluctant to chuck him out in the beginning, but when the fury of the storm kept increasing, they had to throw him out. Is there a Jonah in our boat? Someone or something (it could be anything- a relationship, an attachment, a person, an emotion) that is causing a storm to brew in our life? Then, don’t hold on. We need to let go, before we become victims of a storm not intended for us.

4.     God’s provision does not always come gift wrapped per our specifications. Sometimes we fail to recognize a provision because it was not what we expected. The fish may have been smelly and  dirty; but it was really a provision from God for Jonah’s escape. Had God not send the big fish at the right  time, Jonah would surely have perished.  But did Jonah see it as a provision. No, . Not immediately. To him it appeared to be more of a problem than a solution.  But when God put Jonah in the belly of the fish, we see him repenting and getting back on track  to achieve God’s purpose. That might not have happened if he had been  rescued by a big comfortable ship.  Many times, we see too see God’s provision as a problem. But what we need to remember is that God does not work as per our specifications. He has his own reasons for doing something. He may put us in an uncomfortable place for a while  to reroute us and point us in the right direction, so that we can achieve the purpose for which he has called us.